my dad taught me that in art you should always stop when you think you are 75% complete. when you think to yourself "i just need to do this thing more and then it will be done and "perfect" that is when you should stop. most often the tinkering at the end either does not improve "it" or it in fact ruins the good thing you had going.
i've thought of this often when laying bricks because i have the tendency to strive for perfection and inevitably it always fails. i'll put concrete on a brick and it will be good but then i think, "oh i just need to add a little more here" and poof, then it all falls off and i ruin it! i need to just stop and accept it when it is good, but maybe not perfect. of course noticing that tendency makes me step back and question whether i do that in the rest of my life (yes!) and if so whether my dad's advice can be applied more broadly then to the rest of my life (yes!!!). but it's like learning to drive a stick shift car: you know what to do, it's just a matter of executing it the way you want to and should!
in jobs i think that i am looking for the perfect combo: great hours, great pay, great coworkers, and interesting, challenging work. but i find that i can get close (perhaps 90% of those) but so far have not found the 100% satisfaction that has all of those criteria covered. maybe like what my dad said implies that there is no 100% and i should be content with almost great-- good! but not great...
likewise, i transfer that question to dating. again, looking for "perfect" in relationships has proven to be a challenge that has me very confused. when do you accept 90% let alone 80% or 75%? like job hunting i find that many people fill some or even many of the things i'm looking for, but how do you know what things can be ignored unfulfilled? take jimmy for example: he is someone who i am not in the least bit attracted to and who is only a friend, but said something to me about a month ago that i really loved and which really touched me. he said, "kristin, i love your mind". that has got to be one of the best things i have ever had a guy say to me. seriously. and a few weeks ago he told us about a date that he went on where he took flowers, a stuffed animal and a mix cd on his first date (yes, very over the top and actually weird considering how can he make a mix cd when he doesn't know the girl's music preference or personality even??) but still, at least it shows that romance is not dead across the globe! there are so many guys out there who have some things right but not all... how do you know when to stop playing musical chairs and pick a seat and sit? does the advice apply here, too? do you accept very good?
i don't know and i don't know if anyone really knows. i'm sure many of you would say that there are of course things that you compromise on in life (both in terms of job, friends, family, and romance) but then i ask, how do you accept living with compromise? isn't that the complacency that i was talking about and dismissing? but is 100% ever attainable?? in anything??
as Dorothee, our Frenchy, would say, "je ne sais pas!" but until then i guess i just need to keep on truckin' one brick at a time...